Uncharted Waters

It seems to me that so many people are having these huge, spiritual turn-arounds, and here I am, just maintaining a steady pace learning and loving my God. There is no doubt that I serve the very same God, He is just directing my life differently than that right now. He has promised to stay with me if I promise to stay with Him. I have learned that He knows I'm going to mess up, and mess up, and mess up. When I see people, especially teen-age kids, have these "radical" changes of attitude and life, I struggle to know if it's really God or if they're just putting on a front. Because when you're in a Christian school, peer pressure is still way real, just different. I am trying not to judge, honestly, because some of these kids I still kind of see as what they were just a few short weeks ago. I want it to be real for them, I do, but I know the statistics of people who leave the faith and it hurts my heart to think about their potential and what they may give up as they "grow up".
So, yes, I am out of the boat. But I am not sprinting towards perfection in my Christian walk. I am slowly, unsurely, faithfully walking in the realm of the unknown towards my Jesus. Because He is there waiting for me. He is waiting for me to fall, so He can be the one to pull me up and pull me closer to Him. I am not looking around me trying to assess if other people are sinking on the sea. I am fixing my eyes on You, God. I am out of the safety of my humble jon boat and in uncharted waters. So I will serve You, praise You, and know that You know what's best for me and my life. I will not envy what you've given someone else, because I have rewards specific to my own relationship with Christ. It is my job now to pray and uplift those I worry about, so that my fears are not true and the troubled minds of teenagers can be clear and not cloudy, can be strong and not swayed by the hardships of life. It is my job to focus on my God and reach out my hands to those who may sink around me.
I apologize if this is hard for you to follow, but maybe it struck a chord. The thoughts needed to leave my mind and sort themselves out visually, so I hope you have caught my message and will stop worrying about others and start praying for them.

Shattered

Why does it always seem like you could throw a glass at the concrete floor and it won't break, but the moment you knock it accidentally onto the carpet it explodes into a million pieces? Well, maybe it's something like the glass can withstand all it sees coming, but when someone you loves knocks you down unexpectedly? That's the type of thing that shatters. And now, you're kneeling on the floor trying to pick up the pieces but all it's doing is cutting your hands and hurting you more and more. You're in the middle of a mess, with no foreseen way to fix the broken glass. You can't go left, can't go right without encountering the mess that's been made of your life. What about up? What if we looked up and threw our hands in the air like a toddler that's tired of walking on their own two feet. "Up, Daddy, up!" My feet are tired, my hands are bloody, my heart hurts. 
But even if we escape the reality that has left our body broken, we are not yet healed. We are bloody and bruised and still need time. Life doesn't give you a cure-all, Life gives you the strength to endure another day. To look up and find the strength to get through the mess. The strength to love. To hurt. To heal. 

Listen to My Voice

I made a blog. Why? Because I think that Facebook is overrun with tired souls. Tired souls who find it simplest to complain to others about the problems they confront in their daily lives. You are not alone, tired souls, for I am there too. I am worn out. Recently I have been struggling to simply trust, to simply believe the truths I've known for years. God is with you. God is ever faithful. God is love. The more I've heard of His love and His goodness, the harder it's been for me to believe it. How could you do all that for me, a sinner? How could you do that for me, who every single day stumbles. Falling hurts, God, don't you know that? Oh, yeah...You're the one who has picked me back up, every single day. 
In basketball today we played a team we were sure to beat. We were unquestionably going to defeat the enemy, and we knew it from the start. Why would there be a need to worry? Oh no, the coach put me in the wrong position. Coach, I'm in the wrong place, how am I supposed to know what to do? How am I supposed to know where to go? Coach, do you see me, I'm in distress here! From the sidelines the coach never worries, never misses a beat. "Dino, you need to listen to me now, I'll tell you what to do". Just listen to my voice, the one who will you guide you. Just listen to my voice, the one who will teach you. This enemy, we're going to win. 
It hit me hard. Not the ball, thankfully. The truth. The truth that it's the same with Jesus. Just listen to His voice, our Father. Just listen to His voice, our friend. Where you are is where I want you, just listen to My voice, and I will guide you through it. So, tired souls of the world unite, we are not going to lose this battle, we have our Coach; our Jesus.